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What is reparenting?

What is reparenting?

Why is Reparenting Needed?

The treatment you experience during childhood reflects deeply in adulthood.  Reparenting helps undo the wrongs that were done in your childhood and can help you feel mature and confident. 

During infancy, you learn to trust. As a toddler, you learn initiative. In early childhood, you develop your self-esteem, and in adolescence, you create your own identity. Any disruption in this process could lead to psyche damage, which can affect your choices and behaviors as an adult.

Learning how to reparent yourself means acknowledging these childhood wounds that cause you emotional pain as an adult. Through this process, you can come to terms with the past while discovering how to respond with compassion. It helps you begin to nurture yourself and make positive choices.

How Can You Reparent Yourself?

In reparenting, you learn to love and encourage yourself as a way of providing emotional support. Coming to terms with your emotions is a reparenting technique.

Self reparenting involves recognizing certain personality traits, acknowledging that they stem from faulty treatment during your childhood, thinking about what would be the better or correct response, and then making adjustments or changes to fix the trait. To do this, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What were your unmet childhood needs?
  • What is your coping mechanism for these unmet needs?
  • What issues do you face as a result of that coping mechanism?
  • What do you think a better response would be?

Learn to recognize your reactions, especially in emotionally-charged situations. When you become aware of your reactions and what triggers them, you are better able to understand and find the source of your trauma. Identifying your trauma is a key part of overcoming it.

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This article has been medically reviewed by
Erin Hillers
Erin Hillers
Erin Hillers
Nurse Practitioner

Erin is a Nurse Practitioner with 8 years of experience in midwifery and women's health. She has spent the past 5 years specializing in the treatment of opioid and alcohol use disorders.

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